Jamie

One of the poems I remember from the book:

WHERE DID YOU LEARN YOUR ENGLISH?

I have a tiny question
I don't mean to wreck the mood
But has no one ever told you
That your English is quite screwed?

It bothered me a bit, you see,
In fact, it lost me slumber
When I left the meeting and you said,
"You didn't got my number."

I also kept my silence
I tried hard as I could
When you picked me up for our first date
And told me, "You looks good!"

And at that fancy restaurant
I managed every course
But I nearly puked from laughter
When you ordered "horse-doovors."

Listen buddy, you're a nice guy
But your English is a scream
The final straw was when you asked
If I "enjoyed to sweem."

So I'm sorry if I must decline,
I'm sorry I'm a bitch
But before you ask me out again
Do something 'bout your "spitch."

/edit: I changed my mind about buying this. It's so expensive!